preceding summer to enter a sandy lot with him, watch him 

urinate, and then, kneeling before him, commit _fellatio_. A year 

later, as I was walking home in the rain to our summer cottage, 

with an open umbrella over my shoulder, a boy of 15, who was 

leaning against our fence, exhibited a large, erect penis, and 

when I had passed him urinated upon me and my umbrella. I never 

saw the boy again. I felt peculiarly insulted by his act. Back of 

the house there lived a 12-year-old boy who invited me to watch 

him defecate in the outdoor privy, and during the act told me a 

number of indecent stories and words which I cannot remember. 

About this time I fell in love with a little Jewish boy next 

door. Often I cried myself to sleep over the thought that perhaps 

he was lying on a sofa alone and crying with a stomach-ache. I 

longed to embrace him; and yet I saw little of him, and made 

little of him when I was with him. 

Living in a Western city a few months later, some girls of 12 and 

14 led me to their barn, where they dressed themselves in boys' 

clothing and made believe that they were cowboys. One of them 

told me to "shut my eyes, open my mouth, and get a surprise." 

When I opened my eyes once more a piece of hen-dung lay in my 

mouth. I have a vague remembrance of one of the girls asking me 

to enter a water-closet with her. She uttered some indelicate 

phrase, but I performed no act with her. In the house where I 

lived I once entered the bedroom of a half-grown girl while she 

was dressing. She knelt to kiss me innocently enough, and I, by a 

sudden impulse, ran my hand between her bare neck and her corset 

as far as I could reach. Apparently she took no notice of my 

movement. Although I did not masturbate, yet during this winter I 

experienced a tickling sensation about my genitals when I placed 

my hand beneath them as I lay on my stomach in bed. One evening I 

pulled up my night-dress and, holding my penis in my hand, I 

danced to and fro on the carpet. I imagined that I was one of a 

line of naked men and women who were advancing toward another 

similar line that faced them. I imagined myself as pleasurably 

coming in contact with my female partner who possessed male 

genitals. 

The following summer I lived in the woods. My next-door playmate 

was a little girl of my own age--6 years. She sat down before me 

in the barn and exposed her genitals. This was the first time I 

had seen female organs, or had thought for a moment that they 

differed from my own. In great perplexity I asked the little 

girl: "Has it been cut off?" She and I defecated in peach baskets 

that we found in the upper part of the barn. 

When I was 7 years old and back in the Eastern city I lived in 

the house of a physician. Alone with his 3-year-old daughter one 

day, I showed her my erect organ, and felt a delicious 

gratification when she stroked it with the words: "Nice! Nice!" I 

confessed my fault to my guardian that night after I had said my 

prayers. I had complained to my mother a year before of the 

inconvenience I found in my penis being "so long sometimes." She